How to date on facebook

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"Think of the goldmine of cute girls your friends are likely hiding right under your nose." 

Who needs online dating when you have Facebook? Facebook makes it easy to hit on a friend of a friend. Since you and your dream girl have friends in common, she may be more at ease letting down her guard. Think of the goldmine of cute girls your friends are likely hiding right under your nose. But it's easy to come across as a weirdo or creeper if you're just randomly going around hitting ladies up. Act like a bull in a china shop, and you'll scare her, but sneak in subtlety, and you'll be able to get into her good graces. 

For example, do not email a woman you've never met any sort of message that references her looks. Do not immediately ask her out either. She doesn't know you any better than she knows the homeless guy down the street, so even though you're excited, don't blow your load too soon. A few simple rules and a keen sense of observation are all you need.

Here are a few preliminary steps.

Clean Up Your Photos

Clean up any incriminating photos (or at least hide them). Sure you may have been joking around with your friends when you were motorboating that stripper, but you don't need to post a pic of it for all the world to see. I once had a friend of a friend try to ask me out on Facebook. He looked cute from his profile pic, but upon further examination, I realized he was a sex fiend. Or at least he presented himself as such on Facebook. Every other photo was a shirtless shot taken in front of the mirror or a photo of a half-naked female ass. He thought he was an art photographer; I thought he was a perv. Helmut Newton he was not. Keep the drunk pics, the one of you at the porn convention and any mirror self-portraits hidden. They definitely are not going to endear you to a woman.

Clean Up Your Wall

Next, clean up your wall and be mindful of what you post. Case in point: A guy who I had been talking to in real life Facebook friended me. He was constantly posting comments about possibly hanging out with hot girls or scoping out bikini-clad chicks on the beach. He was hardly the player in real-life; in fact he was anything but, which is probably why he felt the need to talk about hot girls so much. Not only did he come across as immature, idiotic and almost brain-dead, but he also successfully turned me off. Save the bro banter for your friends. She doesn't want to hear about you getting wasted or picking up women anymore than you want to hear about the guy who hit on her last night.

Now that you've made yourself presentable, you're ready to meet the ladies.

Make Friends

It almost goes without saying that the more friends you have, the more possible dating prospects you'll find. So become Facebook friends with as many people as humanely possible. Dig up those old classmate and colleagues from former jobs. After you've gone through all the names you can think of, use Friend Finder to import your email address book. You can also join alumni groups to find more people.

Friends of Friends

Now that you've made friends with everyone you know from here to Zimbabwe, keep an eye on your news feed and see who your friends are posting photos of or are interacting with. Watch all the comments and likes that go back and forth. If someone catches your eye, leave a comment in response to hers, not just to your friend's original status update. Try to engage her in witty banter so she has a reason to comment back. 

You could also do the old-fashioned Facebook-creep thing and look at the profiles of your friends' friends, and then ask your friend for an introduction. Slightly stalkerish? Yes. But she never has to find out. If you handle it casually, no one will know any better. You could say something to your friend like, "Hey, I noticed your cute friend Amanda on your Facebook page. Do you think you could introduce us?" Simple, to the point and presented in a very non-creepy fashion.

Send Her a Friend Request

If you've successfully commented back and forth, she will now know who you are and will be likely to accept your friend request. One thing is for sure: Don't poke her. You'll just seem like a weirdo, as this isn't fourth grade. (What is a poke anyway?) Now that you're friends, you can comment on her status updates and photos and IM her. If she seems open and friendly to your online advances, take it one step further and send her a message asking if she would like to go out sometime.  

Keep Your Dignity

If she doesn't respond, let it go and don't go all creepy and stalk her profile. When I broke it off with bikini-commenter after one too many second chances, he kept leaving comments on my wall every time I updated my status. When I started seeing someone else and he put a post about me being an angel fallen from heaven, I knew it was time for him to go. Now he was being a creepster. I unfriended him immediately. Game over.

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